I’ve been thinking a lot this week about power – the power dynamics between people – and how power shapes all our relationships (platonic, romantic, professional, etc.).
A clearly defined power structure makes a relationship easier – we know where the lines are drawn.
But it also makes for a much less interesting relationship.
The more clear the power structure – the less frequently we take risks that might disrupt that structure. (think employee / boss)
The fun, the thrill, the excitement is in exploring what is unknown between us – when taking a risk means you could step on toes.
There’s a level of vitality in the unpredictability. (think romantic partners, close friends)
And then there are completely ambiguous power structures.
This is the reason why relationships with therapists, coaches, or personal trainers has always been so confusing for me.
Who’s in charge in that relationship?
Him, because we are on his turf and he’s the professional?
Or me, because I hired him, paid him, and could fire him whenever I wanted?
This week, explore the power dynamic of your relationships in 2 parts:
1) See if you can find where there might be an imbalance in places where you would rather there not be – specifically in those romantic relationships and close friendships.
And then ask yourself about the source of any discovered imbalance:
Is there a possibility that you see that person as an echo of a parent – surrendering your power as a consequence?
2) Experiment with the power dynamics in those ambiguous structures. Take more of a stand for yourself by asking for a little more – be a little more demanding. Try to push a little more than usual and see how it feels to embody more of your own power.